I will share you a story of a very good friend who confided to me about her husband’s infidelity. We talked every single day for a year until she stopped. No she didn’t go AWOL. She just stopped being the lonely whining bi-a-t-ch I call my friend. I wonder if she has recovered. When I see her, she would just smile and chat like nothing has happened. She has returned to her old self. I wonder how she did it…and I’m glad she did it. She has forgiven.
She was your typical classy girl. She was not religious but she knows her religion. I can say she was mildy conservative but open-minded. She did marry for love, that I can tell.
Her husband, well, I don’t know much about him, really…Whenever I see him, I will just say hi and ask about how the kids are doing. He was cynical, I’d be truthful. I never liked him for my friend. But, who am I to stop my friend from marrying that man?
There they go….married with kids. Most of us will never share our family’s deep dark secrets…who’s dumb enough to do that? I mean, we all want to protect the family. Here comes one day. I tried to reach out to her to sell a product. Aren’t some of you guilty of sending a simple hello because you have an agenda – SELL HER THE PRODUCT! Honestly, that wasn’t my main agenda. I really want to know how she is with her life compared to mine. Aren’t some of you guilty again? No, really….she lives a good life. She’s always traveling. Her Facebook and Instragram photos look happy…I always thought she is living a happy life….
Anyway, when we chatted on Messenger, she replied fast enough. She wan’t interested with the product. Lol. She was interested in knowing how my day was. She was caring enough to say she’s just gonna post my product to her wall. She is freaking nice. Then, she asked me, “Have you ever been cheated on?” I said, well “I don’t know.. and I don’t want to know”.
She then told me her husband has slept with a few women, paid of course. What was shocking to me was that she never knew, she said. I think that was impossible. Maybe she was blinded. She was trying to ignore all the signs because her everyday life has become the ordinary life of happy married women with kids – cook, take care of the kids, work, sleep with the husband. Her routine was of course same as mine. The difference – she refused to face the reality. She was losing her husband.
She was pretty. She got a little chubby. She didn’t wear makeup anymore. She dresses comfortably.
Men are so visual. You can’t eat like a pig in front of them. You can’t fart. You just can’t. Men will love you for you if they are the men who are raised well by their mothers. Wait…I change that, all men like good looking wild woman in bed. PERIOD.
Back to our conversation. I didn’t wanna blame her, who am I to judge. Mothers are so busy with kids. Mothers are so busy with chores. Who am I to judge?
But yes. I blamed the husband big time. He was too weak to confront his wife. It was too easy to cheat. All women would be swooning around him because he was vulnerable. He opened his soul and POCKET to major infestation. Maybe he was lonely. Maybe he was addicted to it.
My friend was in pain. I felt it….she revealed one of those women became the infamous KIRIDA for some months. It wasn’t just sex. There was conversation. There was wooing and gifts.
I’ve always checked how she was….In the coming days, she told me they went on a long vacation to fix the marriage. Maybe it worked because they’re still together…I notice she still didn’t post photos with him that much. She was busy focusing on herself. She lost weight. Her hair looked lovely. She was wearing nice clothes. It suited her.
As most of us would notice, people are prone to sharing quotes based on how they feel or if they think it’s worth sharing. Well in her case, she would still share some odd mistresses quotes. I know they were still together but still in pain.
Then after a year….I saw her in the mall…and we had a short chat at the coffee shop. She looked vibrant and happy. I asked her what’s the secret?
You have to start somewhere.
It is true. Time heals all wounds. Do not force it. You will know when you are ready. My friend healed after a year. She has not forgotten but time made it easier as the days passed.
Believe in the power of prayer. It gives you strength.
Reconnect with friends and family
It’s okay to cry to them. They understand. They know what you are going through.
Focus on the Positive
You cannot move on if you keep on dwelling on the past. Past is past. Do not fear the future. Focus on what’s making you happy.
Just trust. Do not doubt. Trust again. If you wanna live a peaceful life, not necessarily a happy life, then learn to trust again.
Travel the world. Visit an exotic place. Bring your laughter when you travel. Travel with a friend. Take a vacation with your husband when you are both ready. Travel to the bookstore. Travel to your moms house. It helps.
Exercise makes you lose the fat. It also helps you release anxiety and stress. Read about the benefits of yoga. Maybe you can clean the entire house. Destress yourself.
No do not overwork yourself or else you will die. Busy yourself with your passion. Bring back the love for oneself. Get a hobby to distract yourself.
Redecorate the House
Maybe seek help from a fengsui expert. You can also add some colors to the room. Move the sofa to the side. Move the bed. Sit closer to your husband and watch a movie at home after.
Create a Nurturing Atmosphere at Home
If the husband threw that stone at you, shower him with good home cooked meals, with love and more sex. If he was remorseful, give him the chance he deserves to redeem himself and the wife he lost. If the kids see that the parents are happy, it creates a peaceful and happy home. Everything will come bacl to normal.